“The taboos against a woman’s anger are so powerful that many women don’t realize it’s okay to feel angry. As a result, many women learn to fear anger because it brings such disapproval from others and because there is fear that anger will make matters worse. Holding anger in can bring on serious emotional as well as physical problems, primarily because you turn your anger inward toward yourself.  This can cause illness and depression.  Later on in life, if one does not work on these issues, one can become a very aggressive wife and mother. Women who fear anger frequently live in silent anger all of their lives, telling themselves ‘I must keep silent. I mustn’t show my rage.’ Many times, they don’t even recognize what is making them so angry. ‘I must believe what people tell me. I mustn’t betray anyone. I must stay motionless until my rage kills me.’ Many women do become physically ill because they can never express what they feel inside. The anxiety about speaking out is oftentimes rooted in childhood. Once faced, breaking the silence can change one’s life… I had to practice becoming angry and expressing it.  I have learned that aftereffects of childhood trauma can be overcome by getting in touch with the child within us that was traumatized.  This does not have to be sexual trauma. Many things can traumatize a child. Children are very emotionally fragile. As we grow up traumatized, we become speechless, chronically depressed and suffer all of our lives unless we face our issues. Once we overcome, we should have no need to sink back into our despair and silence. Critical as we may be of our parents, there is no way of escaping the imprint that stays with us throughout our lives. Awareness in the fact becomes evident when we have our own children. We put our children through the same thing we experienced when we were young. What I have learned through much therapy is that we can change our thoughts and lives.  We don’t have to carry those old bad habits.  We can change our roles as husbands, fathers, wives and mothers.  Our children will not suffer our mistakes.” - Rose Monreal Photo Credit: Flickr/Olivia Bee

“The taboos against a woman’s anger are so powerful that many women don’t realize it’s okay to feel angry. As a result, many women learn to fear anger because it brings such disapproval from others and because there is fear that anger will make matters worse. Holding anger in can bring on serious emotional as well as physical problems, primarily because you turn your anger inward toward yourself.  This can cause illness and depression.  Later on in life, if one does not work on these issues, one can become a very aggressive wife and mother.

Women who fear anger frequently live in silent anger all of their lives, telling themselves ‘I must keep silent. I mustn’t show my rage.’ Many times, they don’t even recognize what is making them so angry. ‘I must believe what people tell me. I mustn’t betray anyone. I must stay motionless until my rage kills me.’ Many women do become physically ill because they can never express what they feel inside. The anxiety about speaking out is oftentimes rooted in childhood. Once faced, breaking the silence can change one’s life…

I had to practice becoming angry and expressing it.  I have learned that aftereffects of childhood trauma can be overcome by getting in touch with the child within us that was traumatized.  This does not have to be sexual trauma. Many things can traumatize a child. Children are very emotionally fragile. As we grow up traumatized, we become speechless, chronically depressed and suffer all of our lives unless we face our issues. Once we overcome, we should have no need to sink back into our despair and silence. Critical as we may be of our parents, there is no way of escaping the imprint that stays with us throughout our lives. Awareness in the fact becomes evident when we have our own children. We put our children through the same thing we experienced when we were young. What I have learned through much therapy is that we can change our thoughts and lives.  We don’t have to carry those old bad habits.  We can change our roles as husbands, fathers, wives and mothers.  Our children will not suffer our mistakes.”

- Rose Monreal

Photo Credit: Flickr/Olivia Bee