“If a family believes anger is an unacceptable emotion because it may lead to undesired behavior, then the family members work very hard not to express anger; better yet, they don’t even feel it. But anger exists. Everyone feels it. It cannot be ignored. The energy remains and must go somewhere. Many times it shows up as feelings of depression or feelings of unworthiness and guilt.
When repressed anger is rewarded by statements like, “What a nice, quiet girl; she never gets upset or mad at anyone. How lucky we are to have such a daughter!” permanent damage may well be in the process of happening…
Anger can be recognized, respected, managed, and expressed effectively in the family. The family can become the training ground for learning how to develop and rethink skills. When parents help children recognize their angry feelings; when they help children label them; when they help children express them in ways not damaging to others; when they help children resolve the situation causing the anger; when they help children use anger constructively, then anger is not threatening. Rather anger is an important emotion that helps bring about needed change in relationships.”
- Creative Anger, Rhoda Baruch
Photo Credit: Flickr/ Olivia Bee
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- January 26 2012 | - Read More →
