“Expressing anger causes separation—even if it is temporary—between us and another person. This can leave us feeling alone or abandoned, and that is frightening. But even the best relationships go from closeness to breaks to reconnection. The reconnection can move us to a new place. In one study of anger, 76 percent of the targets of someone’s anger said they came to realize their own faults because of the other person’s anger. Furthermore, the relationship with the angry person was more often strengthened than weakened. When anger is conveyed in clear communication, it is a sign of respect for a loved person. Anger directly and validly expressed in a context of mutuality can be an affirming and bonding experience between two people. Many of us try to keep our anger in check because we fear the depths of fury that might destroy relationships with those we love most.  But long denial can make it more toxic and difficult to handle.” - Kathleen Fischer Photo Credit: Flickr/Sheltered Willow

“Expressing anger causes separation—even if it is temporary—between us and another person. This can leave us feeling alone or abandoned, and that is frightening. But even the best relationships go from closeness to breaks to reconnection. The reconnection can move us to a new place. In one study of anger, 76 percent of the targets of someone’s anger said they came to realize their own faults because of the other person’s anger. Furthermore, the relationship with the angry person was more often strengthened than weakened. When anger is conveyed in clear communication, it is a sign of respect for a loved person. Anger directly and validly expressed in a context of mutuality can be an affirming and bonding experience between two people.

Many of us try to keep our anger in check because we fear the depths of fury that might destroy relationships with those we love most.  But long denial can make it more toxic and difficult to handle.”

- Kathleen Fischer

Photo Credit: Flickr/Sheltered Willow